is it really about car seats or is it about something else. God continues to knock me over the head with this lesson- I CAN NOT CONTROL OTHERS!!!!!!!! WHY CAN"T I ACCEPT THIS & MOVE ON! i can't control how you feel about my parenting. (whether b/c you really don't get it or b/c you are jealous) it's not enough about getting thicker skin- although that would help significantly- it is about accepting the changes i can make. making the changes i can make & moving forward. I was hoping for a more connected relationship with you. but maybe right now is not the time. maybe you need to meet me half way before i can trust & build. maybe now is not the time. but how do i let go of these feelings. how do i free myself from the anger and resentment. how how how?
how can i conquer my fear of turning into you? i do not fear that i will become like my mother -unable to reach out for help. b/c i have a "need" for connections with others- it's wired into me. i'm different from her like that. it is definilty genetics there. BUT i do have a tendency to think my way is the best way- i THINK i am learning that there are many different ways. i feel semi confident that i will continue to grow & develop. but what if i don't...will that transform me into Her? unkind, manipulative,
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