2nd part- a lot louder & a whole lot worse

right okay so we have established that the conversations in my head need to stop.  HOW!?  Do i write her a letter?  but then i have to commit to making it better also hmm not sure i want to commit
Do i intentional focus my energy to something more positive?
Why am i focusing on negative energy instead of building up the postive energy around me?  WHy am i so fixated on being angry? 
Do i have unresolved anger issues with troy about this job ? is it the possibilty of H drinking making me mad?  what gives?