I have more thoughts on the whole PAI situation, but for now, need to commit to I writing whenever I feel like going to the board or commenting, I will blog about it instead..or spend sometime focusing unreal relationships

Ugh so I fell back in with pai, even though my experience last time was not good. Again it happened. But Troy is right focus on people I really know. I really had not found Amy joy in being part of the board. It will take some practice to not check on the board. The emotions from talking to these people drive me nuts and
So I have taken a couple days to reflect on this...some good came out of the huge wasted t
Time. So the good was an exploration into what I believe...this also contributed to a great convo with troy

last day..it is finally here...there have been moments while the snow was falling & falling & falling into march...that i never thought June would arrive.
now that's it's here- i'm terrified.  i am back to the crazy WHAT IF's that i had back in Jan.  Seems like my confidence is shaken.  worried about losing friendships that were in existence b/c of work...need to breathe through today. 

last wednesday.  i'm tired, and un-interested.  what's wrong with me?  is this sadness or nervousness molded into something else?
sigh i think it's all the house projects, everything was going well and then yesterday. no tile company. not sure if harry is coming today.  (little worried about the guys painting the vaulted ceiling. the patio is being done today, i believe.  the fan is still buzzing.  i'm failing at having a positive attitude for helping my aunt pack next week. which sucks, i should have a bigger desire in my heart to help her.  it makes me feel like a rotten person!  ugh