so i had this weird internal issue peek up. I unexpectedly got a part time job at AHPD. running parent-tot classes etc. Right up my alley. BUT i've been dealing with some weird anxiety & lack of confidence. I think it is mainly b/c my supervisor is not helpful or very supportive. She had no information about the class content. Kept sending me back to talk to Karrie. took 2 weeks to email me back & then asked for brochure copy with no additional info (SMH!)
but this weird insecurity, peeked thru yesterday. I picked up the packet of stuff from Karrie's house. I had been tossing around ideas for the first parent tot class: ice cream. when i went thru karrie's stuff i found she had the same ideas that i had.
Instead of feeling fantastic that clearly i was on the right path. I started freaking out. i think, because i felt like my ideas were very original & unique. That my ideas were going to mark me as the best parent-tot teacher ever.
apparently, i'm having some issues in regards to my learning curve. I talked to troy about it. he gave great insight. i'm never incredible or star employee on DAY ONE. there is an expected learning curve. If i continue to put this crazy pressure on myself, i'll lose my mind or over spend in my classes to create the perfect class. or worse my craziness will rub off into the classes & make the parent's feel hurried & rushed to complete "stations" in my class.
i need to take a deep breath.
i need to remember that i was a "gold star" at BH, but i wasn't the ONLY ONE! Kellie was a gold star & she & i did things differently from each other, just like Jena did things differently. There is not one way for being a gold star. Jena's strength is lesson planning, mine is the relationship building & the way i speak to kids. I have to remember everything will fall into place.
It's hard cause i can't prepped for relationship building. so i'm trying to control & create the "best content every" And when my BEST was the same as Karrie's, i felt crushed like aren't i supposed to be better than someone who didn't teach preschool...
Really i should have celebrated & said, yes i'm right on target with my thinking. My idea is fun, funky & age appropriate.
i'm going to work on that idea: my thinking is spot on. The difference will be in how i execute it & make the parents feel comfortable.
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