ramblings

geez, never would have thought this decision required so much thought & anticipation. I have had several conversations this week from other SAH or part time moms who re-affirm my decision without a doubt.
I feel like i am keeping a big dark secret from work.  this is probalby the hardest thing...to know i won't be telliing work for 3 more months.  that my plans have to stay mum. 
Troy is getting his physical this week, fantastic.  this is one of the step's we need to take before i leave my job.  We need to make sure both of us are healthy. & with everything with his dad, it's good to check.

so much work, non stop mondays

on monday i was sitting on the bathroom stool, finishing casey's shower.  & sighing about how much work there is to do in the house.  it was a moment of clarity, how could i possible thing i will be bored.  There is always something to do in the house.  I emailed an old high school buddy about her SAH schedule & regrets.  I wonder if she thought i was crazy...
so there will be moments of laziness...maybe i need to stop going, going, going & start appreciating these moments.
as i realized this past weekend, much of my home time right now is spent doing work stuff.
Here is my tentative plan for summer to manage both kids & house
Maybe look at cleaning M-W, lazy days thurs/friday
i would want to create some sort of cleaning schedule, so i can feel productive & not be cleaning the same thing over & over...
Swimming lessons

wasted time

in an AHA moment, i realized so much of my time & energy is being wasted on work things.  This overwhelming desire to get NAEYC done in one crack.  it's crazy.  i think i am worried about not being able to keep up on the work, hence why i "power burst" through it, as Patti suggests.
i don't know what i need to do, to not have anxiety over this.  should i schedule things out?  would that help me out...i don't know...but i have spent too much time & energy stressing over Naeyc.  which is ridiculous, cause 2 weeks ago, i was even thinking about time consuming NAEYC.   but now i have this very silly notion that i must prepare to leave in 5 months, and leave everything up to date...which is a pretty high expectation on myself.  Maybe if i commit to a smaller time schedule in writing it will be better.

great week breeds doubt

this has been a very conflicting week.  it was a fantastic week in my classroom. it wasn't that the children were fab, cause they are only 2,  Actually i felt at peace again in my room w/ the kiddos.  I was okay w/ the stress of 2's.  I also had a very productive week in the classroom-finished re-arranging shelves, printed off toy labels. made progress.  i wonder if my "good" weeks are connected with a larger classroom project.
On the other hand, as i was changing my room, i was thinking about how in 5 months a new teacher will be in the room.  and how i want to set up systems (toy rotation & cleaning) for a new teacher to follow.  Similar to the pleasure i found in creating the Star of the month, knowing i would only have to manage this until June.  Knowing an end is in sight.
but then again, this week made me think about working 6:30-1:00pm... i have definitely accepted that i will not be working this 3 day current time schedule next year.  It is not working in our family's favor.  it was confirmed again this week...with the water pipe drama.  feeding the kids at 7:30pm & doing homework w/ breakfast doesn't work. so i got that...loud & clear!!!
so what will work best for my family & me next year...???

There appears to be 2 options.  not work (work only as a sub as needed) but for all intents not work...
or work a modified schedule...i do understand that i could convince myself that a modified schedule  and debbie could say no.

talking through more things

yesterday, as i was thinking about how i am documenting these thoughts...
another persistent thought keeps popping up... will there be a time next year, that i will regret wishing this time away.  will there be moments/times next year, where i am so bored or claustrophobic with just my 2 kids, that i will long for the days of working with a group of young kids. will i miss the constinecy that works provides?  will i miss the productive feeling at the end of the day- while i'm cleaning the classroom for the 100th time??? 


i know i will miss the cuddles & love from children who choose to love me...you know versus your kids who love you well because they are yours...

mountain

We are in the process of making changes around here. we have begun talking about me staying home in June.  This is very exciting & scary at the same time.  I look forward to using this blog to document & discuss my concerns.
this morning like most tuesdays, i am full of dread as i know i have to go into work.  it is on these mornings, i think in the future about not having to get up at the crack of dawn to leave the house.

3 Projects about Lines

Today's lesson was on lines. The objective was to demonstrate the varied ways to use lines to convey emotion. There are 4 activities within this special.
1. String Project (book & page number)
Supplies:
Tempera Paint
Cardboard
Yarn
Paintbrush
Cardstock Paper
1. Follow concept from book, page. The book suggest gluing yarn to a piece of paper. For time restriction- I had the children weave yarn into slits cut into cardboard.
2. Give each child one piece of yarn, depending on your size of cardboard, want to long enough to weave
3. Give each child one piece of cardboard with slits already cut into it
4. Instruct children to weave yarn around the piece of cardboard.
5. Instruct children to only paint one side of cardboard. We used 2 bright contrasting colors. (blue/yellow)
6. Press onto paper
7. Paint other side, place painted side down a paper towel.
8 press onto paper

More Information To come....