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okay so working out has stopped since the end of summer. I was doing great about prioritzing working out before anything else in the day.
Now 2 months into school, i find myself frustrated because i'm have time in my schedule but working out right away in the morning isn't happening.JUST this morning i realize it's not happening because i have computer work etc to get done in the am when my energy is the highest & most creative.
since i have art & music prep & newsletter stuff
work stuff (not too much just a little)
would like to blog/PAHM

i'm finding that i've cut back on my morning social get togethers so on a "normal day"
Excluding no school days, or appointment days (like this morning i have to go to grooming)
i'm finding that my energy is blah until 745 & then awesome until about 10.  Then at 10 i tend to get distracted, maybe take an hour to get ready...then hang around & then find i need to eat lunch...then i have errands. i finally run errands & then go directly to the school to get kids....
so i think i need to just flip my expectations & schedule

in the future
coffee
work (creative work, AMA, physical chores)
breakfast
workout
etc

this new schedule would put my workout around 10am...i think this will work just fine

next week i will try it,
monday-coffee, creative, workout (or breakfast first)
Wednesday same but maybe break because of PEACE
thursday same
friday same

so here we are at the end ...again.  many parts of our summer were incredible. the first 5 weeks of no outside classes etc was incredible. key to that success not allowing tv in the am. & I work out every day.  kept us all on track ...which is why the last 3 weeks have bombed. no schedule. loosy goosy.

POP VBS was perfect & 2 weeks of day camp towards the end of summer was great too.

1/2 day camp made it impossible to get anything productive done in my "kid free time"

overall things went well :)

hmm i don't remember why i opened blogger..i opened it for a specific reason _not summer or work...

eeck i can feel the work anxiety overwhelming me again.  I have put SO MANY tools in place to prevent anxiety with work stuff. i have planned out my entire 12 week class. I have printed out the articles already. i have solid plans in my hand.

And yet, as i watch the registration numbers sky rocket up towards closing many of my classes in just a matter of a couple hours. i'm starting to panic.  i'm worried that people are signing up & i will not be able to meet their expectations. 

i need to shift my thoughts. first off i didn't know how to view my numbers until my classes were already full last year.  Then it made sense when my subsequent sessions filled up...i already knew who was coming back etc. 

i need to do a couple of things

1. not go online to watch registration numbers.  I know my classes are going to fill already, why drive myself crazy stalking numbers.  I know my time together, on my way 10am & 11am are going to fill)

2. i need to not attribute the filling till of the classes to my teaching. or me. this puts too much pressure on myself.  the classes filled with wait lists prior to me teaching them.  they are popular classes in part to karrie building the classes strong & the content for the ages.  The newish toddler class, i knew that was going to fill last year ...because there is nothing like it in the book.  

to summarize

1. no online stalking

2. classes are popular because.

    1. karrie built & designed strong classes.  content & age that is popular

     2.  the classes are unique to the park district. there are very few other toddler classes & On my way is the only transition class offered at AHPD.

I know they are all going to fill. I have been talking with troy about working 4-5 classes this year. counting on it.  don't get freaked out when that happens. 

so this year with working, i discovered that i have some issues with self esteems vs previous body issues.  i think listening to Cassey & Pop pilates has made me content & okay with my body. but now i have self doubt & lack of confidence. i talked to troy & my mom & realized that not having feedback from my supervisor is harder on me then i had thought.

however, as i wrap up this school year, i know i have finally found my groove & know how to do it better next year. i know that i won't need to spend hours & hours of physical run around energy & mental energy to start up the year. 

so i had a issue arise with work. i was feeling frustrated that lynn only talks to me when there is a problem. she hasn't visited my classes or shows any interests in who i am as a teacher. i was feeling frustrated that i felt like i had to judge my character to her....but now a week later, i'm feeling much better.

i realize it is far better that she is hands off & it is a sign that she trusts me & thinks i'm doing okay. 

as the school year is unraveling, it is moving so fast. we are getting ready for the baseball game. i hate this event. i hate the whole day. i hate that i have to "work/help" it's not my stupid event & i am expectated to help.  i wish i didn't have to pay since i have to help.  we have to get there early & help set up, help clean. and then watch the stupid game.

i'm hoping if i can let lose & vent here that i will have a more positive attitude on saturday. i'm really really happy that this event is not in august anymore.  get it over & done with in the summer. 

that's a huge bonus